So, it's getting pretty close to Christmas and I have been having a harder time this year than I ever have before.
Don't get me wrong, I have a beautiful wife, a decent job, and plenty of "friends". Even though I have all these things it doesn't stop me from thinking about my parents recent divorce.
They were not always happy and they were no the perfect parents, they were far from it, but, they were my parents. Now I don't even know where my mother is and my dad is father away from me than I have ever really noticed since I moved to Bellingham. The days fly by and I am sitting here staring at a book that needs to be edited so that I can, for the first time share my writing with my family.
I take a step back and fear the future. What will I become? Where will I lead this family I keep dreaming about? Will my friends ever grow up and be there for me like I am for them? Who knows?
I tend to fall back on the memories of my grandmother who lived for Christmas and all of her grand kids. I loved her even though I only knew her as grandma and not as a real person. She died of cancer before I ever got the chance to love her as an adult. Her and Eric will never meet Abby, they will never see my children, and I die a little inside every time I think of this.
Too much pressure to be happy and merry. Too much time to sit and think about the dead. Those rattling chains if the past sing me to sleep tonight, please.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
A Few Days
So life is pretty hard sometimes. I am trying not to show how bad I feel about the situation that is going on with my family and my wife's family. In my head I try and tell myself that if I just wait long enough it will all just magically fix itself and we will all go back to being happy.
The harsh reality is that divorce happens and illness happens. We can defy time. If I could I would be a much happier person. I really don't want my life to spiral out of control because of decisions my mother made while on meth but I don't have a choice in the matter. I hate what drugs do to people and if people try and tell me that pot is harmless I will have to try hard not to punch them in the face. Pot is definitely a gateway drug and it ruins lives just as much as alcohol. I am trying to figure out what is real and what is not. I know that all of it is real but how can anyone possible let their wife leave town knowing that she is going to have an affair with another man and then let her come back home into open arms. I must be crazy.
On the other front in my life I just want to shake people until they understand or until their brains turn to liquid and ooze from their facial orifices. I thought that maybe writing it on here would help me with dealing with it and I guess it does but I also expect that someone will talk to be about it but I feel as if most of my "friends" will just ditch me. I know they don't really mean to be that way but we are a race of people bent on being number one and staying that way. I can't blame human nature but I still want to gain a group of friends that will be here for me when I need them.
I guess that I am just rambling now and crying while typing is no good for anyone so I will have to say good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
The harsh reality is that divorce happens and illness happens. We can defy time. If I could I would be a much happier person. I really don't want my life to spiral out of control because of decisions my mother made while on meth but I don't have a choice in the matter. I hate what drugs do to people and if people try and tell me that pot is harmless I will have to try hard not to punch them in the face. Pot is definitely a gateway drug and it ruins lives just as much as alcohol. I am trying to figure out what is real and what is not. I know that all of it is real but how can anyone possible let their wife leave town knowing that she is going to have an affair with another man and then let her come back home into open arms. I must be crazy.
On the other front in my life I just want to shake people until they understand or until their brains turn to liquid and ooze from their facial orifices. I thought that maybe writing it on here would help me with dealing with it and I guess it does but I also expect that someone will talk to be about it but I feel as if most of my "friends" will just ditch me. I know they don't really mean to be that way but we are a race of people bent on being number one and staying that way. I can't blame human nature but I still want to gain a group of friends that will be here for me when I need them.
I guess that I am just rambling now and crying while typing is no good for anyone so I will have to say good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Something great
I ask myself every night before I fall asleep if I am going in the right direction.
I sit and ponder and I list all of the great things in my life. I have a great wife and we have a wonderful relationship. I don't mind that we don't live in the greatest apartment or that we don't have that much money. What I really care about is my little tortoise Lana and the fact that I wake up every morning.
I have been taking life for granted for a long time and I know that I am young and what not but I have seen a lot of bad things in my short years and they have shaped me into who I am today. I don't really know where I will be in 5 years or 10 years but I do hope that I am raising a few kids living in a bigger place and working at a job that I don't hate.
That idea of leaving something great behind that my kids can share with their children has been sitting in the forefront of my mind for a long time. I really don't care what it is. Even if its just a great story that doesn't even have to be true. I just want something. Anything. I want to do something great or be something great. I know that this is what all people want but that doesn't make my want of it any less important. I am sure that one day I will know what it is that I get to leave behind but until then I will just have to grind my teeth and grit through it.
I sit and ponder and I list all of the great things in my life. I have a great wife and we have a wonderful relationship. I don't mind that we don't live in the greatest apartment or that we don't have that much money. What I really care about is my little tortoise Lana and the fact that I wake up every morning.
I have been taking life for granted for a long time and I know that I am young and what not but I have seen a lot of bad things in my short years and they have shaped me into who I am today. I don't really know where I will be in 5 years or 10 years but I do hope that I am raising a few kids living in a bigger place and working at a job that I don't hate.
That idea of leaving something great behind that my kids can share with their children has been sitting in the forefront of my mind for a long time. I really don't care what it is. Even if its just a great story that doesn't even have to be true. I just want something. Anything. I want to do something great or be something great. I know that this is what all people want but that doesn't make my want of it any less important. I am sure that one day I will know what it is that I get to leave behind but until then I will just have to grind my teeth and grit through it.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
May day!
I remember being a little scamp and stealing flowers from some old lady's garden and then ringing my neighbors doorbell and running away giggling madly!
Oh those were the days right? When little things meant so very much to us. Today I went to work and listened to incredibly ignorant and I am just going to be honest...ugly. I mean I don't really care if you are ugly or beautiful but when you are missing tons of teeth due to their crazy drug abuse habits I cringe and turn into a jerk.
I don't like being a jerk to general public at my job but then again I do...I really do. I give everyone a chance to prove to me when that they are not without brains but then when I tell someone the movie is sold out and they say "What do you mean, like...I can still buy tickets right?" I really just want to slap them in face but I doubt they would even understand why I did it.
So I am not sure if I am going to post every day this month but I will try and post as much as I can. I will try and think of awesome stories to tell.
I wrote this right after the announcement that we killed Osama Bin Laden had been killed but I left out a long and drawn out statement because what I believe about this situation doesn't need to be said. I am happy for our nation upon the idea that we accomplished something great but I will never applaud murder on either side of the barbed wire.
Oh those were the days right? When little things meant so very much to us. Today I went to work and listened to incredibly ignorant and I am just going to be honest...ugly. I mean I don't really care if you are ugly or beautiful but when you are missing tons of teeth due to their crazy drug abuse habits I cringe and turn into a jerk.
I don't like being a jerk to general public at my job but then again I do...I really do. I give everyone a chance to prove to me when that they are not without brains but then when I tell someone the movie is sold out and they say "What do you mean, like...I can still buy tickets right?" I really just want to slap them in face but I doubt they would even understand why I did it.
So I am not sure if I am going to post every day this month but I will try and post as much as I can. I will try and think of awesome stories to tell.
I wrote this right after the announcement that we killed Osama Bin Laden had been killed but I left out a long and drawn out statement because what I believe about this situation doesn't need to be said. I am happy for our nation upon the idea that we accomplished something great but I will never applaud murder on either side of the barbed wire.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Last Day of April
Today is the last day for Blog Every Day in April.
I did it! wahoo! I managed to do something for a whole month. There were some shaky nights there where I almost forgot to post but there are 30 posts and 30 days.
So what does this mean for me. I guess I just need to keep at it. Maybe do some movie reviews or talk more about my favorite things like video games and more anime style stuff. I guess I will just see where the world of the internet blog will take me. Thanks to all of you who actually read this blog I hope that you will continue to follow me in the near future.
If there is anything anyone would like me to talk about you HAVE TO LEAVE COMMENTS! I hope everyone had a good April. I know I didn't...I will see you in May!
I did it! wahoo! I managed to do something for a whole month. There were some shaky nights there where I almost forgot to post but there are 30 posts and 30 days.
So what does this mean for me. I guess I just need to keep at it. Maybe do some movie reviews or talk more about my favorite things like video games and more anime style stuff. I guess I will just see where the world of the internet blog will take me. Thanks to all of you who actually read this blog I hope that you will continue to follow me in the near future.
If there is anything anyone would like me to talk about you HAVE TO LEAVE COMMENTS! I hope everyone had a good April. I know I didn't...I will see you in May!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Anime
I love anime. For my birthday this year there is a 78 hour long anime convention in Seattle. So I really want to go but I really don't want to go alone. I mean when I think about it I am sure that I would have fun by myself and maybe meet some new people but Anime kids are weird. I am weird but not like that. I do however have almost all of a Naruto themed costume but what does that mean...I know...I know.
I have been watching anime a lot more lately and I have been loving it. I love the overacting and the amazing art. I love the variety. Well back to this anime convention. So my idea was that if no one would go with me for the whole weekend I could spend the first day by myself and convince a few of my friends to come on the Saturday and then spend the third day as a wrap up alone and then head home. The main thing is affording the hotel for the three days but by that time my friends should all be living in the Seattle area so maybe I could crash at their place. The only thing about that is I like the idea of staying the hotel and experiencing the whole aspect of the convention but its pretty expensive.
When I try to justify the expense I try and tell myself that "when does something like this ever fall on your birthday weekend" and "You could always save money so that you can make it possible" and "You could have your wife spend the weekend with her sister so that you don't have to worry about her being home alone." But are any of these ideas any good? Probably not but I hope that I will have enough courage to do this alone. I guess only time will tell.
I have been watching anime a lot more lately and I have been loving it. I love the overacting and the amazing art. I love the variety. Well back to this anime convention. So my idea was that if no one would go with me for the whole weekend I could spend the first day by myself and convince a few of my friends to come on the Saturday and then spend the third day as a wrap up alone and then head home. The main thing is affording the hotel for the three days but by that time my friends should all be living in the Seattle area so maybe I could crash at their place. The only thing about that is I like the idea of staying the hotel and experiencing the whole aspect of the convention but its pretty expensive.
When I try to justify the expense I try and tell myself that "when does something like this ever fall on your birthday weekend" and "You could always save money so that you can make it possible" and "You could have your wife spend the weekend with her sister so that you don't have to worry about her being home alone." But are any of these ideas any good? Probably not but I hope that I will have enough courage to do this alone. I guess only time will tell.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Universe
The universe is old. How old you ask? Well some believe that the earth is only a couple of thousand years old other however see the universe as billions of years. I don't really know where I fall. I want to say that I jump on the science bandwagon but that is only because the alternative is preposterous.
This subject has been brought up quite a lot in my logic class almost daily. My teacher says that it took us billions of years to figure out that it took us billions of years to get to this point. So that in this point in time is the only point in our exsistence that we can truly see how far we have come. We have billions sunk into space exploration and all that they can tell us is that we can see millions of years into the past when we look at far away solar systems. This idea then becomes flawed beyond all reason to me. Time is relative as Einstien found out and that we can not put a time index on what we see through a telescope. I know the old idea that when we look up into the nights sky we see stars. Not really though we are seeing death. We see the glimmer of what that star used to be. Because light travels differently we don't see it as it is. We see an almost reflection of what it used to be. So we tell ourselves we are seeing into the past. I don't really understand that. We are seeing pictures of what used to be. That is like saying when I look an old picture of my dad I am seeing into the past. I am only seeing a glimpse of one image that has already happened. I am not experiencing in in the same time frame or even in the same dimension so how could they possible say that we are looking into the past.
This whole idea gets me all riled up. I am going to go eat some cake and settle down. More to come!
This subject has been brought up quite a lot in my logic class almost daily. My teacher says that it took us billions of years to figure out that it took us billions of years to get to this point. So that in this point in time is the only point in our exsistence that we can truly see how far we have come. We have billions sunk into space exploration and all that they can tell us is that we can see millions of years into the past when we look at far away solar systems. This idea then becomes flawed beyond all reason to me. Time is relative as Einstien found out and that we can not put a time index on what we see through a telescope. I know the old idea that when we look up into the nights sky we see stars. Not really though we are seeing death. We see the glimmer of what that star used to be. Because light travels differently we don't see it as it is. We see an almost reflection of what it used to be. So we tell ourselves we are seeing into the past. I don't really understand that. We are seeing pictures of what used to be. That is like saying when I look an old picture of my dad I am seeing into the past. I am only seeing a glimpse of one image that has already happened. I am not experiencing in in the same time frame or even in the same dimension so how could they possible say that we are looking into the past.
This whole idea gets me all riled up. I am going to go eat some cake and settle down. More to come!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
My conversation with Death
So I am sitting alone at Mcdonalds when a man dressed all in black sits down next me. He is handsome and his face is clean and shaved. His eyes are kind and thoughtful and he carries himself with pride. He stares at me as I take a giant bite out of my chicken sandwich and waits for me to swallow before he speaks.
"I don't normally do this but I had to say something" he said with a half smile.
"Do I know you?" I ask as I wipe my mouth with my napkin.
"Sort of" He replied "But we haven't officially met. I'm Death. Nice to meet you" he stops and holds out his hand for me to shake. I just sit there and stare at him like he is crazy. I blink a few times while thinking of what he just said. If he was death I thought I really shouldn't shake his hand"
"If you really are Death I shouldn't shake your hand right? Or it will kill me right?" I said slyly. His face fell into a frown and he withdrew his hand.
"You sure do have my card don't you? Well I am not here to take you but I am here to let you know that I will get you eventually and you will not see it coming." He stopped to gauge my reaction.
"I don't believe that you are Death and you telling me I am going to die means that I am going to expect to do no matter how it happens I will expect death because death is going to happen no matter what" I took another big bite and waited. He sat and mulled what I said over and then got up and walked out. I followed him with my eyes as he walked across the parking lot and then out into the street. He stopped walking and was hit by an old women. I dropped my burger and ran out into the street. The man was lying on his back covered in blood and looking strait up into the sky. I could hear his voice leaking out of his blood filled mouth. I dropped to my knees to listen. He raised his crimson hand and touch my temple with his index finger and muttered the words "I got you".
I have been thinking about death a lot lately and if he is real entity I hope he has a sense of humor.
"I don't normally do this but I had to say something" he said with a half smile.
"Do I know you?" I ask as I wipe my mouth with my napkin.
"Sort of" He replied "But we haven't officially met. I'm Death. Nice to meet you" he stops and holds out his hand for me to shake. I just sit there and stare at him like he is crazy. I blink a few times while thinking of what he just said. If he was death I thought I really shouldn't shake his hand"
"If you really are Death I shouldn't shake your hand right? Or it will kill me right?" I said slyly. His face fell into a frown and he withdrew his hand.
"You sure do have my card don't you? Well I am not here to take you but I am here to let you know that I will get you eventually and you will not see it coming." He stopped to gauge my reaction.
"I don't believe that you are Death and you telling me I am going to die means that I am going to expect to do no matter how it happens I will expect death because death is going to happen no matter what" I took another big bite and waited. He sat and mulled what I said over and then got up and walked out. I followed him with my eyes as he walked across the parking lot and then out into the street. He stopped walking and was hit by an old women. I dropped my burger and ran out into the street. The man was lying on his back covered in blood and looking strait up into the sky. I could hear his voice leaking out of his blood filled mouth. I dropped to my knees to listen. He raised his crimson hand and touch my temple with his index finger and muttered the words "I got you".
I have been thinking about death a lot lately and if he is real entity I hope he has a sense of humor.
Space
I am taking a logic class and we talk about a lot of strange stuff but as of late we have been talking about things like string theory and other theoretical physic type things. I try and tell myself that it is one thing to think about how old the universe might be but most of these strict scientific people say they "know". It is really hard for me to have faith in anything I can not see or hold in my hand. I see these scientist in the same way that I see religious figures. They say pretty much the same things. They both say they know for sure about certain things but they don't really. They both have educated guesses about what may or may not be.
When it comes to the afterlife science says that there is no such thing. When you die you die. Some religions say that you go to heaven or hell or get reincarnated. I don't really know what I believe but I will tell you I am skeptical about all of it. I don't really want to think that when I die I die but I don't really care if I go to heaven or hell or get reincarnated. I just really want to know what happens so that I can be better prepared for it.
Science is getting way too far ahead of itself. They are trying to figure out things that proably don't need to be poked and prodded but in the name of science and that is science without ethics anything is possible. An ethical line needs to be drawn in all areas of life. Without these ethics we would spiral out of control and end up all killing and stealing from each other. The same goes for science and religion. We should not pursue creating black holes until we know what the outcome will be and if we can find it without doing it we shouldn't do it. On the other side if a place like planned parenthood provides abortions to women in need and you see that as taking someones life you do not ever have the right to bomb a place like that and possibly kill innocent people in the name of your cause while preaching the opposite.
I'm sorry my blog is so heavy tonight but I just wanted to say a few things.
When it comes to the afterlife science says that there is no such thing. When you die you die. Some religions say that you go to heaven or hell or get reincarnated. I don't really know what I believe but I will tell you I am skeptical about all of it. I don't really want to think that when I die I die but I don't really care if I go to heaven or hell or get reincarnated. I just really want to know what happens so that I can be better prepared for it.
Science is getting way too far ahead of itself. They are trying to figure out things that proably don't need to be poked and prodded but in the name of science and that is science without ethics anything is possible. An ethical line needs to be drawn in all areas of life. Without these ethics we would spiral out of control and end up all killing and stealing from each other. The same goes for science and religion. We should not pursue creating black holes until we know what the outcome will be and if we can find it without doing it we shouldn't do it. On the other side if a place like planned parenthood provides abortions to women in need and you see that as taking someones life you do not ever have the right to bomb a place like that and possibly kill innocent people in the name of your cause while preaching the opposite.
I'm sorry my blog is so heavy tonight but I just wanted to say a few things.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Worse
You know how you tell yourself that a giver situation couldn't get any worse than it is and then it gets worse. Yeah that is my life right now. I feel like I should just give up and retreat into some cave some where and never talk to anyone again. I could just string some power cords and read my nook forever.
I know this is drastic but a situation like the one I landed in today is something that movies do wrong every time. You see a family on the verge of exploding due to some kind of illness and drugs. Well what they don't show in the movies is the extreme nature of mental illness and drug abuse. How casually a person changes from loving and caring to paranoid and devious. I want to love my mother. I really do but when I hear things that she is doing and saying to my father my heart breaks. There are many battle scars on my heart put there by an abusive mother that I always believed was just the way she was and now I know that whatever it was that made her that way now and again has now taken over her entire being and she has let loose and throw her own family to the dogs. I have no idea how I am suppose to deal with a situation like this because I don't live in a movie and the main dramatic event won't be fixed before the credits roll mostly because there are no credits. When my mother dies there wont be a flash forward to my life down the road where I have moved on and gotten over it. Death has lived around me for many years. My mothers family doesn't really have a long life span and I have buried too many people in my short years. Losing my best friend was really the turning stone in my life and I knew that after that I wouldn't be the same. My life had changed and still is changing because of it. I still think of him every day and I as I sit here now watching wrestling trying to fight back tears I can hear him laugh and mock me.
I don't know how the movie of my life will end but I know that I have good friends and family that are here for me through this. I want so much to be with my dad helping him deal with this but I can't and that cuts to the heart of me.
I know this is drastic but a situation like the one I landed in today is something that movies do wrong every time. You see a family on the verge of exploding due to some kind of illness and drugs. Well what they don't show in the movies is the extreme nature of mental illness and drug abuse. How casually a person changes from loving and caring to paranoid and devious. I want to love my mother. I really do but when I hear things that she is doing and saying to my father my heart breaks. There are many battle scars on my heart put there by an abusive mother that I always believed was just the way she was and now I know that whatever it was that made her that way now and again has now taken over her entire being and she has let loose and throw her own family to the dogs. I have no idea how I am suppose to deal with a situation like this because I don't live in a movie and the main dramatic event won't be fixed before the credits roll mostly because there are no credits. When my mother dies there wont be a flash forward to my life down the road where I have moved on and gotten over it. Death has lived around me for many years. My mothers family doesn't really have a long life span and I have buried too many people in my short years. Losing my best friend was really the turning stone in my life and I knew that after that I wouldn't be the same. My life had changed and still is changing because of it. I still think of him every day and I as I sit here now watching wrestling trying to fight back tears I can hear him laugh and mock me.
I don't know how the movie of my life will end but I know that I have good friends and family that are here for me through this. I want so much to be with my dad helping him deal with this but I can't and that cuts to the heart of me.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter
Today is Easter and that doesn't really mean a whole lot to me. I made a decision that I wasn't going to call my mother today to see if she had gotten over her craziness towards me but she hasn't. I was not really surprised by this but it still does hurt. I am glad that I got to spend this weekend with my sister in law though. It was nice to see her and spend some time doing what we always do. Spending hours trying to think of something to do but end up not doing anything.
I spent most of today reading on my Nook and I couldn't be happier. I finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and it still made me tear up. The emotion at the end of the book is so powerful that I wanted to re read it over and over again. I was watching the movie version at the same time but I feel like that movie makes me more angry than happy. I feel this way about most of the newer Harry Potter films with the exception of Deathly Hollows. Everything after the second movie just went downhill. I hate when book adaptions add things that were not in the book but leave important things out. I am excited to watch the final installment and it is getting closer and closer every day. I have a few months left to read the last three books again and I am sure that I will do that in time.
I really want to dress up and make a big deal out of it but I know that I won't but I guess I will end with saying Happy Easter!
I spent most of today reading on my Nook and I couldn't be happier. I finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and it still made me tear up. The emotion at the end of the book is so powerful that I wanted to re read it over and over again. I was watching the movie version at the same time but I feel like that movie makes me more angry than happy. I feel this way about most of the newer Harry Potter films with the exception of Deathly Hollows. Everything after the second movie just went downhill. I hate when book adaptions add things that were not in the book but leave important things out. I am excited to watch the final installment and it is getting closer and closer every day. I have a few months left to read the last three books again and I am sure that I will do that in time.
I really want to dress up and make a big deal out of it but I know that I won't but I guess I will end with saying Happy Easter!
nook color
Tonight I bought the Nook Color and I have to say it's freaking amazing! It is everything an E reader should be!
It has a pretty hefty price tag but I have been saving up to buy one so I feel like I am going to be using the heck out of this thing. On the next update of the firmware they are going to add nook apps and enable flash! I will be able to stream my Naruto on it! If that doesn't freaking blow your mind how bout reading comics in full color!! I think I have fallen in love all over again. Don't get me wrong I am a technology junkie but I love it. It is the closest thing to an I pad I will ever get. I don't think I will be dropping 500 bucks on something that isn't a Gaming console or a new computer! I will have more details on the Nook when the update is available and I will be pushing it on everyone I meet who is interested in E readers!
OK so tired and I want to read so goodnight to everyone. If you don't read Will Wheatons blog you should. Here is a link.
http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2011/04/wil-buys-a-new-game-its-super-effective.html
It has a pretty hefty price tag but I have been saving up to buy one so I feel like I am going to be using the heck out of this thing. On the next update of the firmware they are going to add nook apps and enable flash! I will be able to stream my Naruto on it! If that doesn't freaking blow your mind how bout reading comics in full color!! I think I have fallen in love all over again. Don't get me wrong I am a technology junkie but I love it. It is the closest thing to an I pad I will ever get. I don't think I will be dropping 500 bucks on something that isn't a Gaming console or a new computer! I will have more details on the Nook when the update is available and I will be pushing it on everyone I meet who is interested in E readers!
OK so tired and I want to read so goodnight to everyone. If you don't read Will Wheatons blog you should. Here is a link.
http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2011/04/wil-buys-a-new-game-its-super-effective.html
Friday, April 22, 2011
E Reader
I got a new Ereader tonight and I am going to be playing with it for the next month to see if I want to keep it or not. Of course the first thing I am going to load and read on it is Harry Potter! So I am pretty excited about that. I am also excited to be able to download and read books. I hope that this sparks a reading frenzy for me. I hope that I fall in love with this e reader!
So I guess I should go and mess with it more and stop writing this blog for tonight. I am sure I will have more to say tomorrow on the subject!
So I guess I should go and mess with it more and stop writing this blog for tonight. I am sure I will have more to say tomorrow on the subject!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Day 21
I have been doing a good job. I have been posting every day and keeping true to my word. I mean it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things but it does mean something to me. I am probably going to try and post every day for as long as I can just so that it is there and I know it is an outlet for me to say what I want to say.
So on another note. Today I was trying to figure out if I was going to skip class or not. I mean it is a pretty easy thing to figure out. Do I go or don't I. Do or don't. I mean if you know for sure that you don't want to do something it is easy for you not to do it but today was not one of those days. I was tired and unmotivated about school. I like school and I like my subjects but I feel that when I am sitting in class I am taking it all in but the people around me are not and it bums me out. I know that sounds weird but I want to help them and explain to them in a way that they understand but I am not the teacher, I shouldn't have to do that.
I had two things planned for my day before class. I needed to go to the store to shop for Abby and Molly for their Easter baskets and I wanted Jo Jo's for lunch. It took about an hour and half to do those two things. After that I spent hours thinking about class. Asking myself if I needed to go. If I didn't go would I miss something important, would my teacher assign something that I need to do. All of those kinds of things kept me on the side of going but I was pretty tired after writing for an hour and playing Diablo for two. I flipped a coin and it told me not to go to class but I didn't take its word. I thought about consulting the I Ching but I wasn't sure if the Sage would really help me in this area. I landed on the last resort. I took a nap and before I laid down I told myself if I wake up with enough time to go to class then I would. My class is at 5:10 and it takes about 11 minutes to get to school from my house. I woke up at 4:51. Sure I could just close my eyes and roll back over and sleep until my wife came home or I could get up and make it there just in time. I tossed and rolled all over the bed until I about fell off. I took this as the last sign. I needed to go to class.
So I made it to school with time to spare. Class was a big waste of time but my teacher did say as he was handing my test back to me "Watch out for that Ben guy his analytical skills are scary, head hunters will be coming for him soon enough" so I guess it was worth it. Thanks universe...I guess.
So on another note. Today I was trying to figure out if I was going to skip class or not. I mean it is a pretty easy thing to figure out. Do I go or don't I. Do or don't. I mean if you know for sure that you don't want to do something it is easy for you not to do it but today was not one of those days. I was tired and unmotivated about school. I like school and I like my subjects but I feel that when I am sitting in class I am taking it all in but the people around me are not and it bums me out. I know that sounds weird but I want to help them and explain to them in a way that they understand but I am not the teacher, I shouldn't have to do that.
I had two things planned for my day before class. I needed to go to the store to shop for Abby and Molly for their Easter baskets and I wanted Jo Jo's for lunch. It took about an hour and half to do those two things. After that I spent hours thinking about class. Asking myself if I needed to go. If I didn't go would I miss something important, would my teacher assign something that I need to do. All of those kinds of things kept me on the side of going but I was pretty tired after writing for an hour and playing Diablo for two. I flipped a coin and it told me not to go to class but I didn't take its word. I thought about consulting the I Ching but I wasn't sure if the Sage would really help me in this area. I landed on the last resort. I took a nap and before I laid down I told myself if I wake up with enough time to go to class then I would. My class is at 5:10 and it takes about 11 minutes to get to school from my house. I woke up at 4:51. Sure I could just close my eyes and roll back over and sleep until my wife came home or I could get up and make it there just in time. I tossed and rolled all over the bed until I about fell off. I took this as the last sign. I needed to go to class.
So I made it to school with time to spare. Class was a big waste of time but my teacher did say as he was handing my test back to me "Watch out for that Ben guy his analytical skills are scary, head hunters will be coming for him soon enough" so I guess it was worth it. Thanks universe...I guess.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
My Current Novel
So if anyone doesn't know I have been trying to write a novel for a long time. There have been many different subjects that I have tried to dabble in but I always feel like I get bored with it and I just give up. I have always been into fantasy and I have always wanted to write a novel that would last forever and be read by millions. But I think that is every aspiring writers dream so it doesn't set me apart from anyone.
I really like my current novel and I just finished the seventh chapter just before I started writing this. I have cool characters that I love and I have a pretty thought out world that my characters live in. I am excited to show how magic and nature control the world but evil is stronger then we know. You must know pain and sorrow before you can call yourself wise. Wisdom will come to Garrek (my main character) in the hardest ways possible. If anyone wants to catch up on my novel I am will to share it with anyone who will read it. Just remember that it is still in the rough form and I am no where near the editing process. I hope new people will want to read it and tell me what they think.
I will leave it there tonight because I have been writing for over an hour already.
I really like my current novel and I just finished the seventh chapter just before I started writing this. I have cool characters that I love and I have a pretty thought out world that my characters live in. I am excited to show how magic and nature control the world but evil is stronger then we know. You must know pain and sorrow before you can call yourself wise. Wisdom will come to Garrek (my main character) in the hardest ways possible. If anyone wants to catch up on my novel I am will to share it with anyone who will read it. Just remember that it is still in the rough form and I am no where near the editing process. I hope new people will want to read it and tell me what they think.
I will leave it there tonight because I have been writing for over an hour already.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
J Pop
Today I brought some old Cd's that weren't labeled into the car to try and find out what was on them. The first one I put in was just a really bad old mix of songs that brought me back to when I was all angsty and what not. So many sad memories of me just sitting in my bedroom listening to the same sad mix of songs over and over again until I cried myself to sleep.... OK enough with the sad stuff.
So after a few other crappy mixes I popped in a masterpiece of anime theme songs. The delicious sounds of the Japanese Pokemon theme song busted through my cars speakers and I was amazed at how it made me feel. I remember the days when I was so addicted to anime that I only listened to J-pop bands that also did anime theme songs. I miss those days when it was OK to be a giant nerd. It did help that I worked in a Anime shop and what not but that is not really the point. I just wish that I could go back to those days of sitting all day watching anime and playing video games. Now that I am married and have to work a crappy job and go to school, when I have free time I tell myself that I need to be doing something productive with my time even though I end up doing nothing. I should have spent my time on catching up on Naruto and other shows I love but I am a pretty weird person.
I think I am going to force myself to get back into my old anime ways. I have more money now then I had them and I could spend all of my disposable income on it and I think I will.
So after a few other crappy mixes I popped in a masterpiece of anime theme songs. The delicious sounds of the Japanese Pokemon theme song busted through my cars speakers and I was amazed at how it made me feel. I remember the days when I was so addicted to anime that I only listened to J-pop bands that also did anime theme songs. I miss those days when it was OK to be a giant nerd. It did help that I worked in a Anime shop and what not but that is not really the point. I just wish that I could go back to those days of sitting all day watching anime and playing video games. Now that I am married and have to work a crappy job and go to school, when I have free time I tell myself that I need to be doing something productive with my time even though I end up doing nothing. I should have spent my time on catching up on Naruto and other shows I love but I am a pretty weird person.
I think I am going to force myself to get back into my old anime ways. I have more money now then I had them and I could spend all of my disposable income on it and I think I will.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Pokemon
Alright. It can't wait any longer. I am going to blog about Pokemon in all its splendor!
OK where do I start? I guess I will start with my first experience with the original. My older cousin had gotten the game when it came out and he played it pretty heavily in front of me for about 6 months. I didn't have a gameboy back then and there was no freaking way my parents were going to get it for me so I waited. It didn't take long for my cousin to get bored with it and pass it on to me. Actually I had to steal ten bucks out of my mom's purse to buy it from him but that is neither seen nor heard!
OK well I now own my first copy of Pokemon Red but I do not own anything to play it on. I ask my cousin if he would sell me his but of course he said said no. I don't think I could have found enough money in my mom's purse to buy my own so I was stuck. I went home and started digging through all of my super nintendo accessories and I found it. I remembered that a few years back all of my extended relatives that didn't know me very well had bought me a super game boy. This allowed a person to play their game boy games on their super nintendo. So I wouldn't be able to take my game with me anywhere but that was ok I now was able to play it.
So it was summer and I didn't have much to do so I played. I played a lot! I beat the game in about 3 days. It was tough and wonderful. I got lost at one point and had to call my cousin to help me but overall I felt like a Pokemon master! Soon after I had played and beaten the game like ten times I got my first gameboy. It was a purple gameboy color. My best friend and cousin at the time were playing side by side and trying to best each other but he could just never beat me. I played against all of my friends and they couldn't beat me either. I was playing the Pokemon card game at our local game shop when the owner asked my to battle him on the Pokemon stadium on the 64. I did and I crushed him. He was shocked and excited at the same time. He gave me a piece of paper and asked me if I wanted to go and play at a tournament in Seattle. I didn't think my mom would want me to go but I asked my aunt and she drove me and my cousin. It was in a small shop in Seattle and there were about forty other kids around my age there. My first match was fast and really too easy. I won with just my Alakazam. The next three matches went close to the same. I was in the finals and I was up against the oldest kid in the place. His party was pretty tough but I won with only fainting two Pokemon. They gave me a sweet patch and told me that I could advance to the next stage in the tournament line!
I was pretty shocked. My prize was a limited edition Pokemon gameboy color. It was blue and had Pokemon sticking out all over it. I loved that thing. So I came back to Seattle about a month later and played three tournaments and swept them all. It got harder the closer I got and I threw one match to a little girl. It didn't effect my standings so I didn't mind. She was super excited. Well I got to the regional finals and lost spectacularly and that was pretty much the end of my professional play. I was pretty poor and couldn't afford to go back during the next few years tournaments. I was pretty bummed but by that time I owned all of the Pokemon games out at the time and I was still beating all of my friends on a regular basis so I didn't mind.
So time passed and I got older. I was in high school now and still playing pretty much every day. I was in choir and we had a competition at our school. I had all of my stuff in my back pack so I could play while we watched the other choirs preform. During lunch an older girl asked me and my cousin if we wanted to go to lunch with her because she could drive us off campus. Of course we went but when I got back my back pack and all of my games were gone. That was the last time I saw my Pokemon gameboy...I still dream about it. After that it took me almost 6 years to get all of the games back. It was a pretty hard time for me...
Well now that I am an adult I still play Pokemon and I always will. I get the same feeling inside when I hear a new one is coming out and I wish that I could compete again and have fun in the arena but I don't really see that happening. If anyone wants to battle I am always ready!
So That is an abridged version of my Pokemon story.
OK where do I start? I guess I will start with my first experience with the original. My older cousin had gotten the game when it came out and he played it pretty heavily in front of me for about 6 months. I didn't have a gameboy back then and there was no freaking way my parents were going to get it for me so I waited. It didn't take long for my cousin to get bored with it and pass it on to me. Actually I had to steal ten bucks out of my mom's purse to buy it from him but that is neither seen nor heard!
OK well I now own my first copy of Pokemon Red but I do not own anything to play it on. I ask my cousin if he would sell me his but of course he said said no. I don't think I could have found enough money in my mom's purse to buy my own so I was stuck. I went home and started digging through all of my super nintendo accessories and I found it. I remembered that a few years back all of my extended relatives that didn't know me very well had bought me a super game boy. This allowed a person to play their game boy games on their super nintendo. So I wouldn't be able to take my game with me anywhere but that was ok I now was able to play it.
So it was summer and I didn't have much to do so I played. I played a lot! I beat the game in about 3 days. It was tough and wonderful. I got lost at one point and had to call my cousin to help me but overall I felt like a Pokemon master! Soon after I had played and beaten the game like ten times I got my first gameboy. It was a purple gameboy color. My best friend and cousin at the time were playing side by side and trying to best each other but he could just never beat me. I played against all of my friends and they couldn't beat me either. I was playing the Pokemon card game at our local game shop when the owner asked my to battle him on the Pokemon stadium on the 64. I did and I crushed him. He was shocked and excited at the same time. He gave me a piece of paper and asked me if I wanted to go and play at a tournament in Seattle. I didn't think my mom would want me to go but I asked my aunt and she drove me and my cousin. It was in a small shop in Seattle and there were about forty other kids around my age there. My first match was fast and really too easy. I won with just my Alakazam. The next three matches went close to the same. I was in the finals and I was up against the oldest kid in the place. His party was pretty tough but I won with only fainting two Pokemon. They gave me a sweet patch and told me that I could advance to the next stage in the tournament line!
I was pretty shocked. My prize was a limited edition Pokemon gameboy color. It was blue and had Pokemon sticking out all over it. I loved that thing. So I came back to Seattle about a month later and played three tournaments and swept them all. It got harder the closer I got and I threw one match to a little girl. It didn't effect my standings so I didn't mind. She was super excited. Well I got to the regional finals and lost spectacularly and that was pretty much the end of my professional play. I was pretty poor and couldn't afford to go back during the next few years tournaments. I was pretty bummed but by that time I owned all of the Pokemon games out at the time and I was still beating all of my friends on a regular basis so I didn't mind.
So time passed and I got older. I was in high school now and still playing pretty much every day. I was in choir and we had a competition at our school. I had all of my stuff in my back pack so I could play while we watched the other choirs preform. During lunch an older girl asked me and my cousin if we wanted to go to lunch with her because she could drive us off campus. Of course we went but when I got back my back pack and all of my games were gone. That was the last time I saw my Pokemon gameboy...I still dream about it. After that it took me almost 6 years to get all of the games back. It was a pretty hard time for me...
Well now that I am an adult I still play Pokemon and I always will. I get the same feeling inside when I hear a new one is coming out and I wish that I could compete again and have fun in the arena but I don't really see that happening. If anyone wants to battle I am always ready!
So That is an abridged version of my Pokemon story.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
A good character
What makes a good main character in either a TV show, book, or movie. Most of the time when I think about my favorite main characters in these three catagories I find myself lost in why I love them.
So in TV I guess I would have to say that my favorite main character in a modern TV show that I have watched consecutively for a long period of time I would have to say Gil Grissom from the original CSI. I really like this character because of his intelligence and wisdom. He is a well rounded character that we know very little about as the show goes on. We learn more than we need to know about most of the other people on the show but him he don't really ever learn that much about him before he leaves the show. The small things we did learn I think are what makes him interesting. He is into bugs and science. He may or may not have had a personal relationship with a dominatrix. His relationship with his fellow CSI is something of a father and mentor but he still manages to be the coolest and calmest guy in the world under the most depressing circumstances. I sometimes find myself wanted to go back through the entire series so I can get to know him all over again.
OK book character. I would have to choose Harry Potter. He is a good main character because we can all place ourselves in his shoes. We were all that age and we have all thought what it would be like to have magical abilities! The main reason I feel he is such a good main is that he is kind of a jerk as the series grows. He has a sense of realism that makes us feel for him and through him. So many bad things happen to him in the series and he takes it as any of us would maybe even better than most of us. If my uncle and only living relative fell into a curtain of unexplained powers and was ruled dead I think it would have taken me longer to get over it and move on. Harry Potter is such a good example of how a character is just that a character. He has it and embodies himself and never waivers from his path. That is why I love him!
So I thought hard about all the movies I have watched over the years and it lead me to one character. I thought can I really choose a character that was only in one movie. I then thought of sequels and trilogies and I landed on the most obvious one for me and that is Marty McFly from Back to the Future. He is such a good lead because of his ability to take time travel for a spin and keep his head on. He goes back to the future and hangs out with his parents but deals with it like many of us would, by being awkward and goofy but sticking to who we are. When he travels to the future he buys the sports almanac to make money like any of us would. I mean I want to believe that I wouldn't but who am I kidding I would love to know that I could make money on a bunch of sure things. Marty also doesn't have a lot of depth though. He is who he is without going into too much detail about what he was like the seventeen years before we met him we know who he is from the first scene in the first movie. Denim jacket wearing, guitar playing, skateboard toting, teenage boy. That is all we need and want to know and I fall in love with his character ever time I put that DVD in.
Well those are my three favorite main characters from the genres of my choosing!
"You know, all those years I worked for you, you never got to know me at all, did you?" Gil Grissom
So in TV I guess I would have to say that my favorite main character in a modern TV show that I have watched consecutively for a long period of time I would have to say Gil Grissom from the original CSI. I really like this character because of his intelligence and wisdom. He is a well rounded character that we know very little about as the show goes on. We learn more than we need to know about most of the other people on the show but him he don't really ever learn that much about him before he leaves the show. The small things we did learn I think are what makes him interesting. He is into bugs and science. He may or may not have had a personal relationship with a dominatrix. His relationship with his fellow CSI is something of a father and mentor but he still manages to be the coolest and calmest guy in the world under the most depressing circumstances. I sometimes find myself wanted to go back through the entire series so I can get to know him all over again.
OK book character. I would have to choose Harry Potter. He is a good main character because we can all place ourselves in his shoes. We were all that age and we have all thought what it would be like to have magical abilities! The main reason I feel he is such a good main is that he is kind of a jerk as the series grows. He has a sense of realism that makes us feel for him and through him. So many bad things happen to him in the series and he takes it as any of us would maybe even better than most of us. If my uncle and only living relative fell into a curtain of unexplained powers and was ruled dead I think it would have taken me longer to get over it and move on. Harry Potter is such a good example of how a character is just that a character. He has it and embodies himself and never waivers from his path. That is why I love him!
So I thought hard about all the movies I have watched over the years and it lead me to one character. I thought can I really choose a character that was only in one movie. I then thought of sequels and trilogies and I landed on the most obvious one for me and that is Marty McFly from Back to the Future. He is such a good lead because of his ability to take time travel for a spin and keep his head on. He goes back to the future and hangs out with his parents but deals with it like many of us would, by being awkward and goofy but sticking to who we are. When he travels to the future he buys the sports almanac to make money like any of us would. I mean I want to believe that I wouldn't but who am I kidding I would love to know that I could make money on a bunch of sure things. Marty also doesn't have a lot of depth though. He is who he is without going into too much detail about what he was like the seventeen years before we met him we know who he is from the first scene in the first movie. Denim jacket wearing, guitar playing, skateboard toting, teenage boy. That is all we need and want to know and I fall in love with his character ever time I put that DVD in.
Well those are my three favorite main characters from the genres of my choosing!
"You know, all those years I worked for you, you never got to know me at all, did you?" Gil Grissom
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Stand up
Stand up comedy is something that I truly love when it is done right. For a long time I wanted to be a stand up comedian but I really am not that funny. I thought of a lot of material that I thought would make people laugh but as I thought it over and over in my head I realized that I was probably the only one who would find it funny. So I gave up on that dream pretty fast. I don't feel that bad about it really because you only really hear horror stories about how hard it is to go into stand up. I do something still fantasize about being in front of people and cracking jokes about being young and married.
It is pretty odd that when you are young and married that people tend to tell you that you were wrong in marrying so young. When middle age ladies say to me "oh you are so young...you have so much more life to live". I really want to say "Whoa lady! You don't even know me. Do you honestly believe that your life ends as soon are you get married? Why would you say such an evil thing to a complete stranger? You should be ashamed of yourself!" but I just nod and go "Oh haha" and trail off uncomfortably because I talk a big game but when it comes to stuff like that I back down. However if anyone ever wants something for free at my work I shut that stuff down right away. I can be firm and confident when it doesn't involve me but when it is personal I just shut down and think funny come backs in my head. Now I guess I know why I wouldn't be good as a stand up because I am always afraid to be funny because I think I'm pretty unfunny.
One day maybe I will find an open mike night and try it out...but until then I will just keep cracking myself up!
It is pretty odd that when you are young and married that people tend to tell you that you were wrong in marrying so young. When middle age ladies say to me "oh you are so young...you have so much more life to live". I really want to say "Whoa lady! You don't even know me. Do you honestly believe that your life ends as soon are you get married? Why would you say such an evil thing to a complete stranger? You should be ashamed of yourself!" but I just nod and go "Oh haha" and trail off uncomfortably because I talk a big game but when it comes to stuff like that I back down. However if anyone ever wants something for free at my work I shut that stuff down right away. I can be firm and confident when it doesn't involve me but when it is personal I just shut down and think funny come backs in my head. Now I guess I know why I wouldn't be good as a stand up because I am always afraid to be funny because I think I'm pretty unfunny.
One day maybe I will find an open mike night and try it out...but until then I will just keep cracking myself up!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tonight Poetry
A long lasting look at an apple
A slow soft glance at a crumbling sand castle
A gentle kiss on the nape of the neck
A sharp slap to keep me in check
A summer breeze blows through the willows
A tree that used to hang gallows
A loving wife with nothing but affection
A new friend, a new connection
A favorite song that flows serenly
A heart that pounds and loves so deeply
A wound that seems to never heal
A memory that doesn't seem real
A phone call that was so unexpected
A lover no longer an ex respected
A pain that will lessen as times drifts by
A day that lasts only until good bye
A wink and a smile to seal a deal
A moment in time that I finally feel real
OKwell that is all I have for tonight.
A slow soft glance at a crumbling sand castle
A gentle kiss on the nape of the neck
A sharp slap to keep me in check
A summer breeze blows through the willows
A tree that used to hang gallows
A loving wife with nothing but affection
A new friend, a new connection
A favorite song that flows serenly
A heart that pounds and loves so deeply
A wound that seems to never heal
A memory that doesn't seem real
A phone call that was so unexpected
A lover no longer an ex respected
A pain that will lessen as times drifts by
A day that lasts only until good bye
A wink and a smile to seal a deal
A moment in time that I finally feel real
OKwell that is all I have for tonight.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Snacks
Lately I have been craving something but I can't figure out what it is. Is it something sweet like candy or cakes? Is it something like Mongolian chicken from my home town that I can't get? Is it something that you can only get one place in the world and it is only open for one week out of the entire year like fair food? Who knows?
I wish I did. I wish I knew what my cravings meant. This week I ate an entire white cake by myself and honestly I want to eat like ten more of them. I want to take a shower in orange soda and wash with hair with chocolate frosting. Then dry myself off with a towel made of cinnamon toast! I am a sugarholic most of the time. I know its bad for me and I know that I might end up being a 400 pound lump of diabetic fat but as of right now I don't care!
I love my staples of snacks as well. I am almost positive that the person who invented the corn dog got the noble peace prize in culinary arts. I wouldn't check my facts but I am almost always sometimes right. This blog is making me hungry and I have a nice piece of pizza staring at me right now so I better go and eat.
I wish I did. I wish I knew what my cravings meant. This week I ate an entire white cake by myself and honestly I want to eat like ten more of them. I want to take a shower in orange soda and wash with hair with chocolate frosting. Then dry myself off with a towel made of cinnamon toast! I am a sugarholic most of the time. I know its bad for me and I know that I might end up being a 400 pound lump of diabetic fat but as of right now I don't care!
I love my staples of snacks as well. I am almost positive that the person who invented the corn dog got the noble peace prize in culinary arts. I wouldn't check my facts but I am almost always sometimes right. This blog is making me hungry and I have a nice piece of pizza staring at me right now so I better go and eat.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Movies
So I love movies. I wish that I would abuse my free movie discount more but going to back work after you just spent 8 hours there doesn't really sound like a lot of fun. I do watch a lot of movies on Netflix but I still wish that I watched more. I love all genres except for classics. I really hate almost all of the old school black and white movies. I loath everything about Gone with the Wind and I could care less about Casablanca! I can swing some of the classic monster movies but that I think is just because of what they are. I will say that The Creature from the Black Lagoon is an amazing movie for what it is and if you haven't seen in you MUST!
So I grew up just as most of you did watching Disney movies. I again hate the classics like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty but I love Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast but I lost faith when when Mulan and Pocahontas and almost everything since they except for Pixar but I will not attribute anything Disney to the production of Pixar movies. My wife and I watched Tangled last night and I liked it. The songs could still use some work but I felt like we are getting closer to what they used to be. Princess and the Frog was boring and it didn't keep my interest at all. I want to feel the same way that I do when I hear "Be our Guest" still to this day. I want the movie and the music to move me. I want to feel for the characters. I want my children to like it on more than "its pretty". I guess that is the main point. I want movies to last longer than the hour and half that originally put into it. I want to be able to watch it over and over and still love it. I can watch the first and second Teenage Mutant Turtle movies over and over and they still hold up. Sure they have tons of nineties lingo and clothing but they still are amazing. I still feel the same way I did when I was a kind. I want a purple bandana and I want to join in!
When did movies become just about the money? Avatar made so much money and I am going to boycott it for life because of what it stands for. The death of film all together will be traced back to that movie. The digital era is strong and overwhelming and we will lose everything that film produced for everyone for so many years. I don't need to see product placement in a movie unless it is a major joke like in Wayne's World 2. When I watched Grown Ups I wasn't sure if I wanted Pepsi or KFC more. It is sick and twisted. When we watch a movie like that in twenty years will we still even have those products and after all that time the money that was shilled out to place those products will long be spent and have no relevance. I hate what the movie industry is becoming and I am sad that I won't get to enjoy movies more than once.
So I grew up just as most of you did watching Disney movies. I again hate the classics like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty but I love Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast but I lost faith when when Mulan and Pocahontas and almost everything since they except for Pixar but I will not attribute anything Disney to the production of Pixar movies. My wife and I watched Tangled last night and I liked it. The songs could still use some work but I felt like we are getting closer to what they used to be. Princess and the Frog was boring and it didn't keep my interest at all. I want to feel the same way that I do when I hear "Be our Guest" still to this day. I want the movie and the music to move me. I want to feel for the characters. I want my children to like it on more than "its pretty". I guess that is the main point. I want movies to last longer than the hour and half that originally put into it. I want to be able to watch it over and over and still love it. I can watch the first and second Teenage Mutant Turtle movies over and over and they still hold up. Sure they have tons of nineties lingo and clothing but they still are amazing. I still feel the same way I did when I was a kind. I want a purple bandana and I want to join in!
When did movies become just about the money? Avatar made so much money and I am going to boycott it for life because of what it stands for. The death of film all together will be traced back to that movie. The digital era is strong and overwhelming and we will lose everything that film produced for everyone for so many years. I don't need to see product placement in a movie unless it is a major joke like in Wayne's World 2. When I watched Grown Ups I wasn't sure if I wanted Pepsi or KFC more. It is sick and twisted. When we watch a movie like that in twenty years will we still even have those products and after all that time the money that was shilled out to place those products will long be spent and have no relevance. I hate what the movie industry is becoming and I am sad that I won't get to enjoy movies more than once.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Comics
For Christmas this year my wife gave me I think three graphic novels. She had already given me two for my birthday two months earlier so I am literally up to here. You can't see my hand but its pretty high. She gave me ones that I have wanted for awhile and some that I wanted just because. I have read a total of one of them and about half way through that one I realized that I had already read most of it.
Why is it that I love comics so much but I can't get myself to sit down and just read them. I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am also in the middle of another series by Micheal Moorecock that is pretty rad and I am also re-reading the Harry Potter series. Having all of these materials to read is a little overwhelming. Being that I am on a Green Lantern kick lately I should really read the second graphic novel in the series that I bought but I only really have Batman on the brain. This month the Return of Bruce Wayne came out int hard back and I really want it. Grant Morrison is my favorite comic book writer and he has made Batman a relevant character again. After Bruce Wayne died I was so happy that Dick Grayson took up the cowl and became his own Batman. Just thinking about this makes me want to drive to the comic shop and drop a hundred dollars on all the Batman issues that I want but can I really do that. I guess with all of these stories brewing in my brain I want to just absorb them all and became a Batman fact generator. But alas I have a wife and I work and go to school so it just isn't possible.
OK I guess I will leave it at that for tonight. I am sure that when I finally catch up on my graphics I will post all about them.
Why is it that I love comics so much but I can't get myself to sit down and just read them. I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am also in the middle of another series by Micheal Moorecock that is pretty rad and I am also re-reading the Harry Potter series. Having all of these materials to read is a little overwhelming. Being that I am on a Green Lantern kick lately I should really read the second graphic novel in the series that I bought but I only really have Batman on the brain. This month the Return of Bruce Wayne came out int hard back and I really want it. Grant Morrison is my favorite comic book writer and he has made Batman a relevant character again. After Bruce Wayne died I was so happy that Dick Grayson took up the cowl and became his own Batman. Just thinking about this makes me want to drive to the comic shop and drop a hundred dollars on all the Batman issues that I want but can I really do that. I guess with all of these stories brewing in my brain I want to just absorb them all and became a Batman fact generator. But alas I have a wife and I work and go to school so it just isn't possible.
OK I guess I will leave it at that for tonight. I am sure that when I finally catch up on my graphics I will post all about them.
Monday, April 11, 2011
To be a boy again
I had a pretty rough afternoon today and I was feeling pretty crappy, so I did what I always do when I am down and sitting alone in the a apartment. I turned on the TV and started flipping. Cheaters was on G4, the mariners played a night game, and comedy central was playing the same episode of Colbert that has been playing all weekend, so I just flipped. Finally I landed on a childhood favorite, pro-wrestling. Well before Raw was on a new reality TV show starring none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin was on. As I watched Stone Cold yelling at wannabe new wrestlers I drifted back to my youth.
I remember my cousin and I would sit on the phone and watch WWF together from separate households giving each other play by plays even though we were watching the same thing. We were pretty poor so we could never afford the pay per views so we would wait up all Sunday night and then scour the internet for postings that told us who won and what happened. I remember being personally hurt when one of my favorite wrestlers were being beaten badly by the current heal and laughing out loud at the colorful antics of Degeneration X. I remember the sound of Stone Cold's music filling the room and me and my cousin jumping out of our seats and screaming!
As the reality show ended Raw began right away. The ring is still the same and the characters are still larger than life but they lack the passion and conviction that once captivated my mind every Monday night. I miss the feelings and the passion I once held for these people. As an adult I know how bad the industry is and how terrible the wrestlers get treated and how it ruins there lives. I know all that but I still feel myself drifting back to the sounds of entry music and heads banging off turnbuckles. I really wish that I could really and truly revert my mind back to the days when I would defend to the death that it was real and that one day I would be in that ring holding the belt over my head while millions of fans scream my name. Dreams are that, just dreams. The reality is I love my life now and my dream became my wife who I live for every day. I would give up being a professional wrestler a hundred times over for my wife.
And to keep on topic. I am outta here "IF YOU SMEELELELELELELEL... WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKIN`!"
I remember my cousin and I would sit on the phone and watch WWF together from separate households giving each other play by plays even though we were watching the same thing. We were pretty poor so we could never afford the pay per views so we would wait up all Sunday night and then scour the internet for postings that told us who won and what happened. I remember being personally hurt when one of my favorite wrestlers were being beaten badly by the current heal and laughing out loud at the colorful antics of Degeneration X. I remember the sound of Stone Cold's music filling the room and me and my cousin jumping out of our seats and screaming!
As the reality show ended Raw began right away. The ring is still the same and the characters are still larger than life but they lack the passion and conviction that once captivated my mind every Monday night. I miss the feelings and the passion I once held for these people. As an adult I know how bad the industry is and how terrible the wrestlers get treated and how it ruins there lives. I know all that but I still feel myself drifting back to the sounds of entry music and heads banging off turnbuckles. I really wish that I could really and truly revert my mind back to the days when I would defend to the death that it was real and that one day I would be in that ring holding the belt over my head while millions of fans scream my name. Dreams are that, just dreams. The reality is I love my life now and my dream became my wife who I live for every day. I would give up being a professional wrestler a hundred times over for my wife.
And to keep on topic. I am outta here "IF YOU SMEELELELELELELEL... WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKIN`!"
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Time
Time travel is one of my favorite story telling devices ever. If you give me a movie, TV show, book, comic, or basically anything to do with time travel you will have me hooked. I love the idea and the science behind each telling and retelling of how they achieve it.
I always love the Star Trek episodes that deal either with time travel or alternate universes but they usually have to do with someone going back in time and changing something that alters the time line and what not but yeah I just love it. My favorite movie is Back to the Future because of these things. I love the fact that even the time travel element is really just a background joke to an even larger idea of what could be done. Someday I hope to write a well thought out story involving time travel. Where hopes and dreams revolve around a single droplet of water. Where time and space are relative and settings and people changed in small and in huge ways.
I feel as if pop culture has not untalized this tool of story telling. Quantum Leap was on prime time for god sakes. We need a sitcom that deals with time travel. Who's with me? Anyone? Probably not but I don't really care. The sitcom will run in my head forever and always as long as I can dream.
I always love the Star Trek episodes that deal either with time travel or alternate universes but they usually have to do with someone going back in time and changing something that alters the time line and what not but yeah I just love it. My favorite movie is Back to the Future because of these things. I love the fact that even the time travel element is really just a background joke to an even larger idea of what could be done. Someday I hope to write a well thought out story involving time travel. Where hopes and dreams revolve around a single droplet of water. Where time and space are relative and settings and people changed in small and in huge ways.
I feel as if pop culture has not untalized this tool of story telling. Quantum Leap was on prime time for god sakes. We need a sitcom that deals with time travel. Who's with me? Anyone? Probably not but I don't really care. The sitcom will run in my head forever and always as long as I can dream.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
...no evil shall escape my sight...
I have been reading a lot of green lantern comics lately and it has got me thinking about super heroes in general. I am a sucker for a good super hero origin story. Superman has had a few and even in one he became a green lantern! But I have been really thinking about he up coming Green Lantern movie. When the first trailer was released I wasn't very happy about how it looked. I am a Ryan Reynolds fan don't get me wrong but I have always seen Hal Jordan as someone else. I don't know who I would have chosen to play him but I wouldn't have gone to him. I know the main argument on the internet is that he is already Deadpool but that doesn't matter to me because I am pretending that the Wolverine movie never happened. The special effects and mostly the CGI suit was what turned me off of the movie from the first trailer.
But just recently at Wondercon they released some more footage of the movie and it blew me away. Seeing Oa in that way and seeing all of the green lanterns in one place was pretty amazing. Sinistro also looks pretty rad even with the giant CGI overhaul. I now looking forward to my second must see summer movie. First being of course the next and final installment of Harry Potter. I am going to weep like a baby with a skinned knee while watching it. I am planning on dressing up for the first time in my life and going to the first midnight show. I am going to geek out like never before! Well with that said and done I am going to post the new Green Lantern trailer so anyone who actually reads this will see what I mean. It really makes me want to jump on the band wagon and it gives me faith that we might get a good origin story after all!
http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/wb/greenlantern/
But just recently at Wondercon they released some more footage of the movie and it blew me away. Seeing Oa in that way and seeing all of the green lanterns in one place was pretty amazing. Sinistro also looks pretty rad even with the giant CGI overhaul. I now looking forward to my second must see summer movie. First being of course the next and final installment of Harry Potter. I am going to weep like a baby with a skinned knee while watching it. I am planning on dressing up for the first time in my life and going to the first midnight show. I am going to geek out like never before! Well with that said and done I am going to post the new Green Lantern trailer so anyone who actually reads this will see what I mean. It really makes me want to jump on the band wagon and it gives me faith that we might get a good origin story after all!
http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/wb/greenlantern/
Music
Music. Yes I am going to breach the topic of music. I know that the topics you are not supposed to talk about are politics, religion, and sex. But I feel that music should be added to that list. It should be the fourth taboo topic of modern conversation. I don't know how many times I have gotten into hour long arguments about how I feel that The Beatles have shaped the music industry and all modern rock stars should understand that without The Beatles there wouldn't be pop music.
OK and for those people who are saying that if it wasn't them it would have been someone else but that argument doesn't make sense because it was them. If someone else could have done it they would have. Unless we are talking about time travel and alternate universes but I don't think we are. I love music in general and if you were to scan the list on my I pod you would see a very eclectic list of music. I have everything from Hip hop to country. But I do have to say that I hate classical music. I understand the pain and sorrow and pure talent that went into composing most of those songs but I can't get down with it. It bores me to tears. My brain wants to commit suicide when I hear Beethoven. I don't really know why that is. I think of myself as a semi-intellectual but man do I hate classical music.
What I really want to say is that music is a huge part of my life and I would be nothing without it. I am not saying that in a real way I just mean I feel that way. I am sure that if music no longer existed I would find some other source for my outlet of energy and what not but I really love it. I love hearing the soul of a song when it is written by someone who is passionate about who and what they are. But on the same note I hate songs that are sung by people who didn't write them. I only hate them in principle not really in any other way because a lot of pop songs are catchy and I will sing along knowing that the person singing doesn't really feel that way but it does lessen the songs value in my mind.
Sorry that this post is late but I was having too much fun and forgot to post before midnight! I guess two posts in one day won't kill me.
In the immortal words of Kurt Cobain "Come as you are, as you were, as I wanted you to be"
OK and for those people who are saying that if it wasn't them it would have been someone else but that argument doesn't make sense because it was them. If someone else could have done it they would have. Unless we are talking about time travel and alternate universes but I don't think we are. I love music in general and if you were to scan the list on my I pod you would see a very eclectic list of music. I have everything from Hip hop to country. But I do have to say that I hate classical music. I understand the pain and sorrow and pure talent that went into composing most of those songs but I can't get down with it. It bores me to tears. My brain wants to commit suicide when I hear Beethoven. I don't really know why that is. I think of myself as a semi-intellectual but man do I hate classical music.
What I really want to say is that music is a huge part of my life and I would be nothing without it. I am not saying that in a real way I just mean I feel that way. I am sure that if music no longer existed I would find some other source for my outlet of energy and what not but I really love it. I love hearing the soul of a song when it is written by someone who is passionate about who and what they are. But on the same note I hate songs that are sung by people who didn't write them. I only hate them in principle not really in any other way because a lot of pop songs are catchy and I will sing along knowing that the person singing doesn't really feel that way but it does lessen the songs value in my mind.
Sorry that this post is late but I was having too much fun and forgot to post before midnight! I guess two posts in one day won't kill me.
In the immortal words of Kurt Cobain "Come as you are, as you were, as I wanted you to be"
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Star Trek = Truth
I was flipping through the channels the other night when I was having troubles sleeping. I crept out of the bedroom, opened the offensively squeaky door, checked to see if I woke up Abby (even though I know that an elephant could come stomping through the bedroom and she would at most roll over), and then made my way for the couch. Sometimes I love to flip through late night infomercials looking for the next best gadget. No one would have ever thought that the Snuggie would take the country by storm but it did, even if you buy one as a joke it is still selling.
Well after finding mostly weight loss and muscle building items I moved on. I landed as I always do on G4 and they were playing reruns of Star Trek: the next generation. I dropped the remote and let the couch envelope me. I lost myself in an the episode that I have probably seen twenty times. This episode has the crew reliving the same day over and over again seeing as they are stuck in a time loop due to some kind of hole in subspace. I thought to myself "yeah that totally makes sense" even though it is pure science fiction and I should be like that isn't even possible. I love how I can suspend my beliefs for pure fiction things but I can't in any other aspect of my life.
Well after the episode ended another started. As much as I love star trek watching it in the dark while feeling warm and cozy is a sure fire sleep aid. I started to drift and realized that my night was now over. I crept back into the bedroom and fell on the bed harder than I wanted to but still Abby didn't wake. I actually fell on her, I probably moved her 6 inches from where she was. She didn't make a sound or move a muscle. I stood open mouth at the edge of the bed in disbelief. In my head I wanted to try and do various things to her to see if it would wake her but I glanced at the clock and it was already three in the morning and I was pretty tired so I deserted that idea for another time. After I turned the bedroom T.V on and hit the volume button once she was half awake and asking me to turn it down. The joys of being married.
Back to star trek, I believe that star trek had it right. The idea of a giant Utopian society free of crime and money sounds amazing. I know that most people in our country would not give up power and money in exchange for bringing every person to the same level. There would be no middle or low class just people. As I love the idea of space exploration and meeting new alien races I don't however agree with spending all of our time and resources on it. After we gain our utopia and all disease is eradicated then we can focus on otherworldly endeavors. I love star trek and I hope that one day I can wear a sweet color coded uniform and be proud but I can't say that it will ever be possible.
Well after finding mostly weight loss and muscle building items I moved on. I landed as I always do on G4 and they were playing reruns of Star Trek: the next generation. I dropped the remote and let the couch envelope me. I lost myself in an the episode that I have probably seen twenty times. This episode has the crew reliving the same day over and over again seeing as they are stuck in a time loop due to some kind of hole in subspace. I thought to myself "yeah that totally makes sense" even though it is pure science fiction and I should be like that isn't even possible. I love how I can suspend my beliefs for pure fiction things but I can't in any other aspect of my life.
Well after the episode ended another started. As much as I love star trek watching it in the dark while feeling warm and cozy is a sure fire sleep aid. I started to drift and realized that my night was now over. I crept back into the bedroom and fell on the bed harder than I wanted to but still Abby didn't wake. I actually fell on her, I probably moved her 6 inches from where she was. She didn't make a sound or move a muscle. I stood open mouth at the edge of the bed in disbelief. In my head I wanted to try and do various things to her to see if it would wake her but I glanced at the clock and it was already three in the morning and I was pretty tired so I deserted that idea for another time. After I turned the bedroom T.V on and hit the volume button once she was half awake and asking me to turn it down. The joys of being married.
Back to star trek, I believe that star trek had it right. The idea of a giant Utopian society free of crime and money sounds amazing. I know that most people in our country would not give up power and money in exchange for bringing every person to the same level. There would be no middle or low class just people. As I love the idea of space exploration and meeting new alien races I don't however agree with spending all of our time and resources on it. After we gain our utopia and all disease is eradicated then we can focus on otherworldly endeavors. I love star trek and I hope that one day I can wear a sweet color coded uniform and be proud but I can't say that it will ever be possible.
- It is possible to commit no errors and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.
- -Captain Picard to Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation, “Peak Performance”
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Am I nerd enough?
So if you have been reading my blog this month you know a little about me. So to go into more detail I want to say this...I wish I could be more of a nerd.
OK, so I already collect comics, watch anime, playing magic, I have spent hours on WOW, and am sort of in love with Star Trek. OK I know that is grounds for being a inducted in the nerd hall of fame but I still feel like I could do more.
So I was thinking "what could I do to be more geeky". I was thinking that I don't really go and play magic with people anymore, if I am not playing with my wonderful wife I am playing against people I don't know online. I could frequent my local comics shop and play Friday night magic but you know since I only work the weekends now because of school that really isn't possible and none of my friends play.
I also want to get deeper into the online world of geekolgy. I already have a pretty long list of people that I follow on youtube. Even though I wish that I could film videos that people would want to see but I have no idea how to thrust myself into that arena.
I guess on this quest to become an better geek I will just have to own it. I will wear my Pokemon T-shirt more in public, I will try harder to be who I am. I love these things so much and I wish I had more friends to share these things with. I am sure that some day they will emerge from the shadows with decks in hand and then life will be good. Until then....
OK, so I already collect comics, watch anime, playing magic, I have spent hours on WOW, and am sort of in love with Star Trek. OK I know that is grounds for being a inducted in the nerd hall of fame but I still feel like I could do more.
So I was thinking "what could I do to be more geeky". I was thinking that I don't really go and play magic with people anymore, if I am not playing with my wonderful wife I am playing against people I don't know online. I could frequent my local comics shop and play Friday night magic but you know since I only work the weekends now because of school that really isn't possible and none of my friends play.
I also want to get deeper into the online world of geekolgy. I already have a pretty long list of people that I follow on youtube. Even though I wish that I could film videos that people would want to see but I have no idea how to thrust myself into that arena.
I guess on this quest to become an better geek I will just have to own it. I will wear my Pokemon T-shirt more in public, I will try harder to be who I am. I love these things so much and I wish I had more friends to share these things with. I am sure that some day they will emerge from the shadows with decks in hand and then life will be good. Until then....
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
If I said this...
So I have been thinking a lot about the internet and writing over the past four days. How so many people can impact the lives of others just by blogging and so forth. I mean it might not impact your life in a great and life changing manner but it might make you smile and laugh. Smiling and laughing to me are such profound things but we take them for granted most every day. A couple of weeks ago my wife and I were hanging out with a couple of friends and we stayed up all night just talking and laughing. We were all laughing so hard that was getting out of control but we all felt great.
I know that it made my night a million times better to share stories and laugh. Since I have started blogging I want to tell funny stories and make people I don't know laugh. I think that I have a tendency to be funny in group situations and I am trying to think of the internet as being a giant group of friends. I want to tell my stories to them but how is that I get more ideas and things out there. Well I guess first I needed to start a blog. Done. Next I need to post my blog and like minded forums. Done. These things were easy but now I guess I have to keep up on blogging and saying things that I think and feel even if it might not mesh well with all of the people who read my blog but isn't that one of the greatest fundamental points of language so that we can learn and explore it in every direction no matter our own personal beliefs. Just because I believe we never landed on the moon and the government has spent billions of our tax dollars on keeping this belief afloat does not mean that I am write or wrong or that your opinion is right or wrong. That is the beauty of language and of free will and having our own minds and thoughts. OK I guess I better wrap this up before I write ten pages on this. So what am I saying is that if I say something you think is weird or I sound out of my mind call me on it. Write me a comment so that we can grow as people and as intelligent beings.
"My god, I disagree with you and it took you almost five whole minutes to call me a Nazi."
I know that it made my night a million times better to share stories and laugh. Since I have started blogging I want to tell funny stories and make people I don't know laugh. I think that I have a tendency to be funny in group situations and I am trying to think of the internet as being a giant group of friends. I want to tell my stories to them but how is that I get more ideas and things out there. Well I guess first I needed to start a blog. Done. Next I need to post my blog and like minded forums. Done. These things were easy but now I guess I have to keep up on blogging and saying things that I think and feel even if it might not mesh well with all of the people who read my blog but isn't that one of the greatest fundamental points of language so that we can learn and explore it in every direction no matter our own personal beliefs. Just because I believe we never landed on the moon and the government has spent billions of our tax dollars on keeping this belief afloat does not mean that I am write or wrong or that your opinion is right or wrong. That is the beauty of language and of free will and having our own minds and thoughts. OK I guess I better wrap this up before I write ten pages on this. So what am I saying is that if I say something you think is weird or I sound out of my mind call me on it. Write me a comment so that we can grow as people and as intelligent beings.
Time for another quote:
"My god, I disagree with you and it took you almost five whole minutes to call me a Nazi."
Monday, April 4, 2011
The X Files, DC comics, and Magic the Gathering
So today I have spent a large amount of time building a new deck and watching The X Files on Netflix. I would call this a very good day. I have always been into magic more than I would like to admit but it hasn't ever really gotten me anywhere. Just a side note. I love the X-files and that is all I really have to say about it as of right now!
I have lived every nerds dream. I worked in a comic book/ Anime store. I got paid to go to comic conventions where I sat and read comics all day while people thumbed through our back issues. It was one of the best two years of my life. After the first year of working there I had watched almost all of the anime we had for rent in the store. I wasn't really into comics at the time and I hated....loathed DC. Me and my boss would get into massive arguments about it. He kept telling me that I needed to read Superman: Red Sun. I pushed it off for a couple of months but I finally cracked. I picked it up and started reading...That was when I realized that an entire world of comics was just waiting for me to dive in and immerse myself in all it's glory. I read Superman: Red Son in about an hour I just couldn't put it down. After that I became a DC die hard and I still am. I am wearing a Green Lantern shirt right now! Well at this point I spent most of my time reading comics and hanging out until my boss came to me one day and asked if we should start carrying Magic the Gathering?
I said "Hell yes" there should be money in that right? I was right but most of that money came right out of my own pocket. All of a sudden I was a mega nerd. I was reading comics and playing magic every day. I got so into that I started going to all of the pre-release tournaments for all of the new sets of cards. Then I wanted to see if I was any good and me and a few other friends went to a few other tourneys but we were all pretty horrible and we didn't have the money to buy the good cards that everyone else had but then I moved away and magic kind of took a side note. I started reading more and playing less. Every once in awhile it swims its way back into my mind and it causes me to break out my decks and rework them hoping that someone will be like "Hey we should play!" but no one ever does...
I guess I will leave it on that note and to Mike there is always a reason to look beyond the page we are currently reading. If we were to know the outcome we will most likely push fate to the limit and see if our wings really will melt when we get too close to the sun. I am a dreamer and I always will be.
I have lived every nerds dream. I worked in a comic book/ Anime store. I got paid to go to comic conventions where I sat and read comics all day while people thumbed through our back issues. It was one of the best two years of my life. After the first year of working there I had watched almost all of the anime we had for rent in the store. I wasn't really into comics at the time and I hated....loathed DC. Me and my boss would get into massive arguments about it. He kept telling me that I needed to read Superman: Red Sun. I pushed it off for a couple of months but I finally cracked. I picked it up and started reading...That was when I realized that an entire world of comics was just waiting for me to dive in and immerse myself in all it's glory. I read Superman: Red Son in about an hour I just couldn't put it down. After that I became a DC die hard and I still am. I am wearing a Green Lantern shirt right now! Well at this point I spent most of my time reading comics and hanging out until my boss came to me one day and asked if we should start carrying Magic the Gathering?
I said "Hell yes" there should be money in that right? I was right but most of that money came right out of my own pocket. All of a sudden I was a mega nerd. I was reading comics and playing magic every day. I got so into that I started going to all of the pre-release tournaments for all of the new sets of cards. Then I wanted to see if I was any good and me and a few other friends went to a few other tourneys but we were all pretty horrible and we didn't have the money to buy the good cards that everyone else had but then I moved away and magic kind of took a side note. I started reading more and playing less. Every once in awhile it swims its way back into my mind and it causes me to break out my decks and rework them hoping that someone will be like "Hey we should play!" but no one ever does...
I guess I will leave it on that note and to Mike there is always a reason to look beyond the page we are currently reading. If we were to know the outcome we will most likely push fate to the limit and see if our wings really will melt when we get too close to the sun. I am a dreamer and I always will be.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Death and Life
So it came to me last night while I was sleeping. Well I guess I was half sleeping due to noises that creep into my bedroom while I sleep and inhabit my brain...I was thinking about death. I don't really do this a lot because I have gone through some pretty horrible deaths in the past few years but I was thinking about it in a strange way. You know when you are watching a T.V show and one of your favorite characters die. Well if you were one of the millions of people who watched LOST you should know what I am talking about. I am talking about Charlie of course. Because of his personal life he decided to leave the show, in doing this they thought "Why don't we just kill him?" I really hate when that happens and it makes me terribly mad that actors don't have enough pride in their own work that they would let some kind of personal relationship issue ruin a good thing...
OK well that was just the beginning of my thought process then I just told myself "It's life and death". Then I thought "Why is it always said life and death? Why not death and life?" these types of terms have always erked me. I like to say Paper Rock Scissors. People always give me crap for it but it doesnt change the game so why does it matter. I don't really think that the creator of this game which I think was the Chinese over a thousand years ago would really care which came first. OK so stay with me here. I then went to "what came first the chicken or the egg" and that lead to religion and then I looked at the clock and it had been an hour of me sitting in the silence of night trying to crack the code to the universe and just so you know...I am no closer than I have even been.
So in summation, Death and Life, Paper Rock Scissors, and the egg.
OK well that was just the beginning of my thought process then I just told myself "It's life and death". Then I thought "Why is it always said life and death? Why not death and life?" these types of terms have always erked me. I like to say Paper Rock Scissors. People always give me crap for it but it doesnt change the game so why does it matter. I don't really think that the creator of this game which I think was the Chinese over a thousand years ago would really care which came first. OK so stay with me here. I then went to "what came first the chicken or the egg" and that lead to religion and then I looked at the clock and it had been an hour of me sitting in the silence of night trying to crack the code to the universe and just so you know...I am no closer than I have even been.
So in summation, Death and Life, Paper Rock Scissors, and the egg.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Another day...
Today is another day isn't it. I just got up just as I always do on Saturdays and went to work. Today wasn't a horrible day at work if you don't think about stupid people asking stupid questions but I guess that comes with any job where you work openly with the public.
Today I had a lot of time to think about where my life is going. I sat upstairs at my theater and read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I have been rereading the series once again but this time it is landing in my brain in a much different way. I have been trying to write a novel for a few years now. I started one that was based on my own personal trials but it got lost in the fold as it always does. This year I did what most people do and promised myself that I would do "this year"... So I started again but this time it was a fantasy novel that I have always wanted to write. I am about seven chapters in but due to school and sickness I lost my pattern of writing for at least one hour a day. I really like writing and I feel that I am more than adequate at stringing words together but for some reason I tell myself that I am no good and why would I even try to write when I obviously have no talent. I guess that comes with being a writer and not ever really having people tell you that you are good its hard to believe them when they are being honest. Back to Harry. So while I'm reading the series this time I am trying to think of what J.K was thinking when she wrote these books. Did she have it all planned out. Was she afraid that it would never even happen. I know that she has a pretty amazing story that goes along with Harry and I just hope one day that will happen to me.
So I will end today with a quote..."Please, Captain, not in front of the Klingons" Spock to Kirk
I love this quote. The nerd in me will never die.
Today I had a lot of time to think about where my life is going. I sat upstairs at my theater and read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I have been rereading the series once again but this time it is landing in my brain in a much different way. I have been trying to write a novel for a few years now. I started one that was based on my own personal trials but it got lost in the fold as it always does. This year I did what most people do and promised myself that I would do "this year"... So I started again but this time it was a fantasy novel that I have always wanted to write. I am about seven chapters in but due to school and sickness I lost my pattern of writing for at least one hour a day. I really like writing and I feel that I am more than adequate at stringing words together but for some reason I tell myself that I am no good and why would I even try to write when I obviously have no talent. I guess that comes with being a writer and not ever really having people tell you that you are good its hard to believe them when they are being honest. Back to Harry. So while I'm reading the series this time I am trying to think of what J.K was thinking when she wrote these books. Did she have it all planned out. Was she afraid that it would never even happen. I know that she has a pretty amazing story that goes along with Harry and I just hope one day that will happen to me.
So I will end today with a quote..."Please, Captain, not in front of the Klingons" Spock to Kirk
I love this quote. The nerd in me will never die.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Explanations.
So it's 2011 and I am finally going to start a blog. I have been wanting to rant about things in my life for a long time in an open forum but I usually just get lost and forget about it or I just give up on it. So if you were wondering about the title of the blog it is just something that has been on my mind as of late. OK, so if you don't know me, I am a huge nerd. I play magic the gathering and I love anime and pokemon. I have been expanding my graphic novel collection steadily thanks to my wife and holidays. So back to the title, well I really love the show Naruto which is all about ninjas and the lives they lead. These ninjas have classes that define their standings within the village in which they live. When you graduate out of Shinobi school you are awarded a headband with your villages insignia on it and the class title of Genin. My email address is geninben@hotmail and people always ask me about it and I smile and just brush it off because it feels to complicated to really explain all the time. So after you become a Genin you train and go on missions and then when the time comes you can take the Chuunin exam and get a chance to advance in the ranks. The main character in the anime never gets the chance to become a Chuunin because of people constantly trying to either kill or capture him. He leaves the village for three years to train with one of the best ninjas ever and when he comes back all of his friends have either become Chuunin or even Jounin which is the next highest class so I guess why I am saying is that I feel like I am struggling to become a Chuunin while everyone around me advances I am staying the same. So that's what my blog will be about me becoming a Chuunin in my own right. I will try and post daily and I know my wife is good at keeping my going.
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